Do you need some relationship support?
You’re at the crossroads and it’s time to make that decision: is she/he the one? Some things work well and other things in the relationship don’t. You’re hesitating, is it your “stuff” or legitimate concerns about the the relationship because you’ve bounced through several. Are the things that aren’t working fixable? Are your expectations reasonable? Maybe you didn’t have the best examples of healthy relationships in your life and have a hard time seeing how someone can actually stay happy in a longterm relationship.
You need help wrapping your head around the big picture. Sometimes you have no idea where your partner is coming from or how to best communicate to them what is going on for you and get what you need in the relationship. Find clarity about what you want and how to express it.
Since you had kids you and your partner have drifted apart. It feels like a lot of what you do or say is being taken the wrong way. You’re checking out and drinking too much. You’re not feeling seen or respected in the way you want to be. Maybe you (or your partner) had an affair and need help dealing with and understanding it. For others they’re past that point and feel like they’re on their own navigating the anger, sadness and anxiety of a divorce.
You need consistent reliable support as you work to fix yourself, your relationship or rebuild your life in a place where there will be no judgement and solid feedback to help you to move forward.